Communication 1010

Myself as a Communicator Journal

For this reflection you will write about your perception of self and others. Understanding perception and how it affects your communication is an important lesson in this course. The way we communicate not only creates who we are, but can affect how others see themselves. In Chapter 1, it states "labeling practices are a prime example of how communication creates social reality". For this reflection think about the labels that you hold and the labels you have given other people, and answer the following questions. 

1. What is a positive label that has been given to you in your life? How has that label affected your self-concept? How has this label affected the way you communicate with others?
2. What is a negative label that has been given to you in your life? How has that label affected your self-concept? How has this label affected the way you communicate with others?
3. Is it your ethical responsibility to be careful of the labels you give others and adapt your communication to accommodate others? Why or Why not?

Use personal examples from your life as well as course content from Unit 1 and textbook Chapters 1 and 2 when answering these questions.

The Effects of Labels

Heather Murray

Salt Lake Community College

COMM 1010: Elements of Effective Communication

Professor Haight

June 29, 2020

            “Because humans are social beings, we develop our self-concepts mainly through relating with others. Our earliest glimpses of who we are and what we’re worth come from our interactions with caregivers like family members, teachers, and coaches. As we mature, we continue to observe and internalize other people’s reactions to us” (Edwards, Edwards, Wahl, & Myers, 2016, p.39). Reflecting on this statement, I can say that in my own experience this concept holds true. As a child, I was always told how bright I was. This positively affected my self-image. Self-image being “one’s mental picture of oneself” (Edwards, Edwards, Wahl, & Myers, 2016, p.39). I excelled in every subject. I was even able to skip a year of math and entered algebra a year earlier than my peers. Looking back, I’m not sure how much smarter I actually was than my peers. Perhaps the beliefs of those around me gave me confidence which allowed me to succeed. Because I was labeled as bright, I had confidence in my academic abilities. I communicated with confidence, oftentimes speaking much more maturely than other children my age. I was even boastful as a child and teen about my academic achievements, something I’ve had to work on in my adult life. My self-concept improved because of being labeled bright.

Reversely, later on in life, I was labeled an addict. This negatively impacted my self-concept. I saw myself as a loser. I was ashamed of myself. I stopped going to family gatherings, missed many of my nieces and nephews’ birthdays. I feared the judgement of my family members. I didn’t want to go into public. Even after being sober for quite some time my self-image remained very negative. I believe that the detrimental effects of being labeled an addict stuck with me for years. My looking-glass self continued to believe I was the loser that my family saw me as, even though I knew I had been sober for quite some time. After nearly two years of sobriety I confronted my family in the best way I knew how. I asked them how much longer I needed to remain sober in order for them to treat me better. After that day their perception of me changed, and so did my perception of myself. They no longer labeled me a drug addict, they saw me as someone who had worked hard to be sober. When their labels of me changed my self-concept changed. I was able to see myself in a more positive light and that has continued to improve as my sobriety has continued.

Reflecting on my experiences with both positive and negative labels, I would say that for me, personally, I feel a responsibility to be careful of the labels I give others. I believe in being kind to others, and how I label them is a part of that. I’ve experienced very harsh labels and the shame that came from them was debilitating for me. I wouldn’t ever want to effect someone else the way that I was effected by putting a negative label on them. We all pass judgement, we all label others in positive and negative ways, but it is important that we don’t unfairly label another person. We all have good and bad qualities and should not be defined by any one quality or label, but should be seen a whole person with value. I would also add that it is important for the individual to either accept or reject the labels that are placed on them. Separating oneself from those that treat and label you unfairly is just as important as not unfairly labeling those around you.

Refrences

Edwards, A. P., Edwards, C. C., Wahl, S. T., & Myers, S. A. (2016). The Communication Age: Connecting and Engaging (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, California: SAGE PUBLICATIONS.

For this reflection you will write about your verbal communication. Understanding how messages work and how to adapt them, is key to your ability to create effective messages. As communicators we often adapt the way we interact with one another depending on the situation. We do this for many reasons, including in order to facilitate effective communication, to avoid conflict, to build relationships, to be respectful. As we adapt our communication styles and messages, is there a point where adaptation can become unethical and disingenuous? Include answers to the following questions in your reflection:

1. In Chapter 3 and Unit 3.1 you learned about effective verbal communication. What course concept did you find the most helpful for improving your adaption of verbal messages? Why? How do you plan to use that concept, in your relationships and interactions moving forward?  
2. As we adapt our messages and make them more effective is there an ethical line to not be crossed? Hitler is a good example of this. An effective communicator, yes, an ethical one, no. Can you think of an example in your life or someone close to you where this "ethical line" may have been crossed? Loop back to the discussion on ethics in Chapter 1 and Unit 1.1, make connections.
   

Verbal Communication

Heather Murray

Salt Lake Community College

COMM 1010: Elements of Effective Communication

Professor Haight

July 6, 2020

In our text, inclusive language is discussed. “Inclusive language employs expressions and words that are broad enough to include all people and avoids expressions and words that exclude particular groups” (Edwards, Edwards, Wahl, & Myers, 2016, p.60).  I believe this was the most helpful concept I found that I could use to improve my verbal messages. I believe that using inclusive language will allow me to reach the biggest audience. If you use inclusive language your audience will possibly be more receptive. One example that I can think of off the top of my head is using gender neutral language and pronouns.

I believe there is always an ethical line. For me, the ethical line will be crossed in my direction before it will go the other way. “Ethics is a code of conduct based on respect for yourself, others, and your surroundings. Simply, ethics relates to right and wrong conduct” (Edwards, Edwards, Wahl, & Myers, 2016, p.18).   I don’t want to offend others with my speech. I believe that in using gender neutral language I will err on the side of ethical communication.

In my lifetime, I’ve seen how language can be either inclusive or exclusive. I’ve also been on the receiving end of both types. The most recent example I can think of is one that comes from my work. Before becoming a manager that knew all the managerial jargon, I was often lost as my general manger would speak to a group of us and expect us all to know what terms such as SAP updates and DSR checklist meant. I had no idea what she was talking about. I felt lost and confused. The language she was using was exclusive. Perhaps had she done more explaining she could have made the move from the realm of exclusive to inclusive. It took a long time for me to feel like I was a apart of the team because of her exclusive language. For me, I want to use inclusive language so that I don’t end up making someone else feel excluded the way that I did. 

References

Edwards, A. P., Edwards, C. C., Wahl, S. T., & Myers, S. A. (2016). The Communication Age: Connecting and Engaging (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, California: SAGE PUBLICATIONS.

For this reflection analyze what aspects of your nonverbal behavior are effective and what can be improved. Although nonverbal communication makes up most of our communication, it seems to be the skill talked about the least. With effective nonverbal communication, you can accomplish a lot; when nonverbal communication is ineffective, it can truly inhibit and strain interactions. Pay attention to what you are doing right now: what kind of nonverbal messages are you sending? If no one else is around, would you change something about your nonverbal behavior if someone did walk in? Now that you have thought about nonverbal messages broadly, includes answers to the following questions in your response:

1. What types of nonverbal behaviors do you succeed at? Look to Chapter 4 for specific behaviors you can speak about. 
2. What types of nonverbal behaviors do you need to work on? What might you do to improve? Look to Chapter 4 for specific behaviors you can speak about.

Use personal examples from your life as well as course content from textbook Chapter , and Unit 3.1 when answering these questions.

Nonverbal Communication

Heather Murray

Salt Lake Community College

COMM 1010: Elements of Effective Communication

Professor Haight

July 6, 2020

I believe I am a very strong nonverbal communicator. In fact, sometimes to my detriment. I’m very expressive with my facial expressions and gestures. Nonverbal communication is defined as any type of communication that is expressed without using words. Nonverbal messages express feelings, attitudes, and can convey a stronger message than the words you are speaking along with them. One example of this I’ve seen in my own life time and time again is when I say that I’m fine with something that is happening or going to happen, when in reality I’m not okay with it. Even though I’m saying to the other party that it’s ok, it is always obvious to them that I feel differently. My facial expression, tone of voice, body language and gestures all give away my actual beliefs on the matter.

Reversely, my nonverbal communication is often an asset of mine. I am a great listener. I am great at making eye contact. I use my body to affirm that I am actively listening through nodding my head and facing the person speaking. I use my facial expressions to show interest. I employ many types of nonverbal communication to express myself and improve the communications between myself and the person with whom I’m communicating.

If I were to pick any type of nonverbal communication to work on it would be to not allow myself to be distracted. I have Attention Deficit Disorder and that can sometimes get in the way of effective communication, even when I’m trying to give someone my full attention. I catch my eyes darting off in odd directions at times because something has caught my attention, and I can lose my train of thought about the topic I am speaking about.  I believe this is my biggest weakness when it comes to my nonverbal communication. It can be to the detriment of the communication taking place because it makes the other person feel that I’m uninterested or feel the conversation is unimportant. This is rarely the case and I wish I had the ability to stop myself from losing focus.

References

Edwards, A. P., Edwards, C. C., Wahl, S. T., & Myers, S. A. (2016). The Communication Age: Connecting and Engaging (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, California: SAGE PUBLICATIONS.

For this reflection you will evaluate yourself as a listener. Listening is said to be one of the most important communication skills you can learn. Listening to others can also enhance your ability to empathize. Think about the interactions you have daily and think about all the times you needed to listen and/or empathize. Include answers to the following questions in your response:

1. Do you believe you are an effective listener? Why or why not? Use what you learned in Unit 3.2 and Chapter 5 as evidence for your answer. 
2. How has listening and empathy played a positive or negative role in your relationships and interactions with others? How might you improve?

Use personal examples from your life as well as course content from textbook Chapters 5 & 7, as well as Unit 3.2 when answering these questions.

Listening

Heather Murray

Salt Lake Community College

COMM 1010: Elements of Effective Communication

Professor Haight

July 20, 2020

I believe that I have the potential to be a good listener, but also that my listening skills could use some fine tuning. I’m very good at comprehensive listening, “trying to understand and make meaning of the message” being presented to me (Edwards, Edwards, Wahl, & Myers, 2016, p.115).  I’m also a very good critical listener. In fact, I may have too much confidence in my ability as a critical listener. I oftentimes find myself jumping to conclusions about the motive of the other person communicating with me. I’ve also been able to hone in on my discriminatory listening skills throughout my life.

            As a child, I learned quickly how important discriminatory listening was. My mother was the owner of a company and was normally very busy. By queuing in to what was going on around us, I knew whether or not it was an appropriate time to interact with her or if I needed to leave her alone to do her work. I also became a very acute critical listener. I would often eavesdrop on my family’s conversations. As the youngest member of the family, I was often left out of more adult family matters. I learned how to listen in, and in doing so I gained a greater understanding about serious issues that were going on. I was also able to understand them on a more adult level because of how carefully I listened and how much time I spent processing what I heard in conjunctions with everything going on in my family at the time. I used all these clues to critically listen and assess what was going on.

One aspect of my listening skills that could use work is my ability to express empathy. I am normally very empathetic of what others are telling me inwardly. However, I often jump straight to trying to fix the problem as opposed to listening and just taking in the information. This comes off outwardly as someone who is not empathetic. It is difficult for me to remember that sometimes the purpose of the other person expressing themselves to me isn’t for me to fix the problem. Sometimes, the purpose is simply for me to listen to them and be empathetic about how they are feeling. My good friend once expressed to me that he believed that I did not value his opinion, and that he believed that I acted as if I knew more than him. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. I thought I was trying to help by giving him advice. He thought that I was being boastful in my knowledge. This was a good example of how I needed to improve my listening skills and be more empathetic.

I believe that the best way for me to improve my listening skills is to talk less. I believe that if I listened more and gave less advice, the other party communicating with me would most likely feel like I was really listening to them. I know that I like to talk about myself more than I like to listen about other people. Knowing this, I could purposefully listen more and talk less. I could keep the topic off of myself and my own life experiences, and instead, ask them more questions about what it is they are trying to communicate to me. I think if I just remember to talk less about myself and more about the topic at hand, my listening skills would improve drastically.

               Many of the concepts presented during this course were things I already knew. I knew it was just as important to listen to others as it is to be listened to. I learned about how important it is to be a team player when it comes to group work. I also learned about concepts I hadn’t already known such as the different roles within a small group and the functions they all have. I was able to identify both strengths and weaknesses I had, such as being too dominant in my communication at times and too eager to please in others. If I took away anything from this course that I believe will help me in the future is that I shouldn’t go to such extremes. It seemed like I was either on one end of the spectrum or the other when it came to my communication skills. I was either spearheading the conversation and trampling others with my words, or I was being very passive and no letting my voice be heard. I also learned about how important it is to read the nonverbal language of others, which I believe I was already very good at. I learned about how nonverbal communication is oftentimes more honest than the words that people speak. However, most of all I learned how valuable communication is. I’ve always been one to express how I feel. Now I’ve learned ways in which I can express it differently and also in different settings which are more appropriate than others to do so. From now on I will step back and try to listen more than I talk.